Well, where do I start? The time where my toddler turns into Damien and tries to cause me to have a break down.

Decided to treat Reggie to our take away which was dominoes (he does eat healthy sometimes, I swear I don’t just feed him junk food) as we had a friend over. I thought to myself “He is eating what we are eating and he loves pizza so this dinner time should go smooth right?”

Fellow mothers, this is when you laugh out loud and thinks she’s dreaming.

These little monsters tend to trick us, nursery says “He sits at the table till told to leave “ and “He’s such a great eater, barely causes a mess” all I think is what fucking child do you have because that certainly isn’t mine.

Anyway, we sit him at his little table with chopped up pizza and a fork and like any toddler eats the first 3 bites like I have never fed him before (cheers reg make our guest think that we have never fed you before). Then I think, phew he might actually eat it at the table and might eat it all as he has spent the first 5 minutes being an absolute star and I am so proud of him sat there like a good boy.

I bet you parents are reading this waiting for something to go wrong right? Haha well you are absolutely right. The little shit decided to display an award winning performance which involved the iconic throwing the food on the floor, not all at once but one piece at a time. As he done this it was accompanied by me telling him not to do that and picking the food back up.

I think to myself “cheeky little so and so I try my fucking best to make you happy and this is how you repay me WHERE IS THE ALCOHOL” then I bring myself back to reality and what the hell I am going to do because my food is getting colder by the second and I want to eat it fresh (something that rarely happens).

He then tries to get of the seat and starts crying; I sit him back down for millionth time in parent hood and tell him to eat his dinner nicely. I put his food back in front of him and add some cheese bites to hope it will intrigue him enough he will eat them and give me a fucking break so I can eat my dominoes which is now pretty much ruined now.

The little monster has irritated me so much I am not even hungry now all I care about is the silence and him not getting of that seat.

He actually is intrigued by the cheese bites so WINNER WINNER I might actually get 5 minutes.

All I hear is the cheekiest giggle and something drops on the floor, I look over to the biggest grin hoping that he hasn’t started throwing his food again and what is he doing, bloody chucking his food on the floor again.

His giggle is the most infectious in the world and I can’t help but join in when I hear it, it makes my heart so warm and no matter what he is doing I can’t help but laugh.

I try my best to not encourage him but I am past the point of caring, now my peaceful dinner is fucked and my dominoes is better to now be left for breakfast because I am not even hungry now.

I just let him have his fun until he’s put everything on the floor and smeared it all into his hands, table, radiator and floor (Main reason why I leave my housework till late at night because the little devil just wrecks it till he is in bed).


My friend can’t help but laugh which makes me feel so much better, I then picture dinner without my little Damien (Reggie) and I realise how painful the silence would be. Even though I constantly wish for peace and quiet, I know I wouldn’t feel normal without his cheeky ways and challenging dinner times.

If he was not there I would probably just be sat on my phone or talking about something unimportant or even not sat there at all (Would be out wasting my evening on fake friends and alcohol) yet i have a special little boy that makes my evenings, he makes me laugh, makes me lose my shit on the daily but also gives me a reason to keep going.

I may miss my dinner most nights, he may make me clean up the same spot a million times but I can’t help but join in on his cheeky ways and accompany him with a hug, smile and laughter.

I absolutely love being a mum and how frustrated I always feel because that’s the price you have to pay to have a little gorgeous boy that makes you smile.

I would be lying if I said I can’t wait for it to all happen again tomorrow but I can’t wait for that smile at the end of him pissing me off, that’s what I live for.

Chelsea – Instagram @ChelseaRubyyx


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