There is an awful assumption that when you have child/children your life is instantly over.
You hear other parents complaining about the sleepless nights, dirty nappies and having no time for yourself.
The above made me absolutely shit myself when I found myself unexpectedly pregnant, at first I thought am I ready for my life to be over and am I ready to give up everything.
Then I thought to myself, NO I am not falling into that trap. The minute I found out I was pregnant I was adamant to prove that life is not over, it has just begun.
I was about to have a beautiful little human that was all mine and would love me no matter what and he was going to push me to do the best in everything i do.
I refuse to let my children grow up to be scared of having kids and thinking that everything has to be perfect and deciding to give up their life.
Now don’t get me wrong things do change, you don’t get much peace and there is now someone you will love with all your heart and will always come first no matter what but who says it has to be a negative?
Having a baby will be the most challenging but exciting time of your life.
Whether you’re doing it alone, unplanned or planned its YOUR parent journey so make it one worth looking back on.
Who says you have to give up those nights out with your friends, who says you can’t make effort with your appearance and who says you cant go on long haul holidays with your child.
Now you may not want to still live an out going life style but I feel strongly that how I parent will define how my son parents and his thoughts about it, I want him to still think I have fun. I am raising a future father and I want him to live his life before he has kids like I did but I never want him to be scared to be a dad, I want to get rid of the “life is over” stigma because it really isn’t.
Think about it, you get to be a kid all over again! Disney movies, duvet days with loads of sweets, running around the park being silly, having this toddler run you ragged all week and downing a bottle of wine faster then ever cause you finally got a night off. Embrace the negatives, you feel your patients have been tested all week, ring your mum or dad or your support network and have a bloody night off you deserve it!
As for career, you do you honey! I don’t judge however, I work hard and went back to work full time quite soon as I like the finer things in life and I am very career focused (something I want my son to be). Me and my son are due to go travelling and the luxuries come at a cost but if you can afford to not work embrace every moment with your child.
I am successful for my age, I have travelled, I have a good social life, I still get to have holidays and I am a young mum of one.
Now I just include a little human into my plans, I want him to see mummy still has a good time (in moderation) I love going on adventure, I refuse to let anything stop me.
Money can be a huge obstacle but the way I see it, you want the finer things in life you have to go and earn it! It takes time but the parent you become is the parent your child looks up too, I want my son to look up to me and think my god I cant wait to be just like my mum as a parent.
I want him to look at his life and feel blessed and that’s why I have huge plans for us to travel as I cant wait to show him the world, I want him to fall in love with other countries and grow up to go on to do his own travelling, I hope he gets curious about what else is out there.
We all have our own goals for our children but there is no right or wrong.
I am not saying you need to be rich, travel, go out every weekend, stay in all the time, never socialist because some parents are happy that their life is over but just remember that is their choice.
Your parent life is up to you so don’t let other peoples journey define yours, do the best for your children and for yourself because if you aren’t happy, your child will eventually feed of that too.
Don’t be scared, embrace it.
*To the my life is over now I have had a baby mums if you enjoy it that way and are happy carry on but if you are not, ring your friends and reconnect. I can promise you that life is not over as you’re the one who controls that, so If you don’t want it to be don’t let it.*