It’s okay to not be okay.

We can make parenthood out to be as glitz and glam as we want on social media and to our non mum friends but we are actually making it harder for ourselves and future mums.

We need to make not being okay acceptable because it is, it’s perfectly fine to have a day when you are not ok and things are really tough.

I wish it was it was as acceptable to say I’ve had the shittest day ever and get everything off my chest as it is to boast about all the good things my baby/child has done.

I feel that not being ok is a taboo subject, around the topic casts judgments of “is she fit to be a mother?” “is she depressed?” “does she need help?” Neither of these is a true statement because I’m a perfectly good mum but today I’m having a bad day and playing mum is draining.

Some will relate some won’t but I am now a single parent, my little boys dad has him a weekend here and there which makes me sometimes feel he gets all the good parts.

The fun days out, gets to go to work with full energy and no disturbed sleep and I resent him for it, right or wrong for feeling that way I don’t care because it’s how I feel and I’m not ashamed of that.

Today I had a bad day, cleaning the house made me cry, putting reg to bed made me cry, didn’t make myself food because I just couldn’t be bothered and even turning the tv over felt like climbing Mount Everest.

I felt guilty, hurt and felt so lost.

What I realised is all of the above clarifies something! I am human..

I am aloud to have bad days and so are you.

These bad days don’t define us, they make us better parents.

Dont try to avoid your bad days embrace them because you need to let all that inner emotion go, don’t bottle it up. If you need to cry then cry, it’s ok this is not forever.

You are not superhuman and able to face everything with a smile because that’s not how life works unfortunately.

I can’t promise you won’t have lots of days like this but I can promise you the better days will our weigh them.

I am not saying we need to moan about our kids over social media but be as positive as you can about it.

I posted a photo to say, here I am, I am a mother and today I am having a bad day because you know what?! It’s temporary, it’s not forever and I am perfectly fine for being emotional because I am human.

We need to show the world it’s ok not to be ok, it’s really that simple.

I sometimes look at some people’s life on social media and think Jesus I want my life to be like that but then I realise behind those 300 happy posts is probably a unhappy girls with her own problems, it’s okay though she’s human but I can’t help but think there are people wishing for her social media life when really we only want people to see the good bits.

Now, I know that we don’t need to show every time we have a bad day but we need to see more realistic stuff.

I am about to travel south east Asia with my son who’s 2 and I can’t wait to share the highs and lows with you because it’s going to be the best challenging experience ever and I want people to see the real side to it.

The world would be a better place if people didn’t feel the need to be ashamed of not being ok, I am going to open up my DM on Instagram confidentially.

If you need to speak to someone, I am here. If you need to rant, I am here.

Dont be alone, don’t be ashamed and certainly be proud of that bad day it won’t define you.

You are amazing, you are strong and you will get through this.

Alone or not, together we stand as parents to never let anyone feel alone again.

(Instagram – chelsandreg)

feel free to message me x

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Did anyone ever mention parents matter too?

We all forget this the minute our children are born. The minute that tiny baby is in your arms you become selfless and every single one of your dreams and priorities change.

The only thing that matters is that baby. However, we get so caught up in our child’s needs and wants and we neglect ourselves. Our body, our wardrobe and mainly our social life.

Being a 24/7 devoted parent is hard work but we all need to cut ourselves some slack sometimes.

Its ok to go out with your friends, you need it. You will end up losing your self and let being a mum completely take over your life and energy.

People are so judgmental on parents who go out, buy things for themselves or parents that have social lives after having children. I understand people make the choice to not go out and to give every ounce of their time and money to their kids which is amazing and those children are lucky to have such devoted parents but just because I like to indulge in wine with my friends or I like to go treat myself to a new hand bag does not mean I am not just as devoted. I believe it is healthy to have a life after having a baby.

Just because you have a child it does not mean your life should stop, if anything it has only just begun. You need rest bite and you need that time to yourself to recharge your batteries.

I feel a better parent after I have had time to myself, I love missing him it makes my love for him grow.

If you want to go on holiday without your child, do it. If you want to go on a weekend away with the girls, do it. If you want to spend the night in with your children, do it. As long as a child is safe and looked after by someone you trust who’s to say you can’t get a break.

I notice women going out every other weekend; the first thing people think is “How dare she leave her child all the time. How can you she go out a waste money on drink and not on her kid” as long as that child has all it needs and for all you know could be with a grand parent or father, who are we to judge? The only time we should be concerned is if a child looks and is neglected and just because a parent goes out does not mean they are neglecting their child.

We are aloud to have fun as well, we look after our demanding children 24 hours a day 7 days a week and YOU DESERVE the break. Its healthy to spend time away from your child, absence makes the heart grow fonder (in moderation of course) I strongly believe that.

All a child needs is love, clean clothes, roof over their head and food on the table. If a child is getting that then no one has a right to judge.

People are worried to go out, spend money on them or get that break because they don’t want to be judged. All I can say is fuck them and their stupid opinion because every parent deserves a break.

You spend 99.9% of your time worrying and caring for you child, you deserve that break and don’t let anyone tell or make you feel like you don’t.

Keep doing you ❤️

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